RIP My Normal Life
My day at SeaWorld was filled with joy! And Bird Crap. My
mother and I took a spur of the moment trip to San Diego this past May to have
one last trip before I went off to college. I did everything I was supposed to
do as a SeaWorld Guest. I used their complimentary lockers; I took plenty of
touristy photos, some even with incoherent thumbs up and cheesy grins. I tried
not to make the stink face when I was around the flamingos that reeked of fishy
poo. I rode the fun adult rides and facebooked some pictures of me petting the
stingrays, which was coolest thing ever! -I even plotted how I could sneak one
out to take home as a pet, but came to the conclusion that they wouldn’t fit
into my mom’s 1994 fanny pack or my drawstring bag. I did everything a SeaWorld
guest would do. So why did I get crapped on?
It was lunchtime and we were famished. We had settled on the
least expensive thing, a hamburger to share. I sat down on the quaint metal
chairs and waited for my mother to return from getting her drink so we could
share our burger. I admired a little boy sitting in his stroller holding a hot
dog like a lollypop. He was pointing at a bird smiling. All in an instant a
pelican swooped down, and pecked the hot dog out of the boy’s bun and gobbled
it up in one swallow, before shrieking at the boy and flying away. The boy of
about two watched the whole thing, awestruck. When it hit him he cried and screamed,
“the birdy took my wiener!” “He took my wiener!” (Hysterics)“my wiener!” –You
get the point, he was devastated about his missing sausage. In horror the
mother who was on the cell phone and hadn’t been paying attention turned and
tried to console him. I sat in amazement, catching flies in my open mouth.
My mother returned and I took a bite of my hamburger. “Yummy!
I’m starving!” I thought. As I lifted the burger to take a second bite I felt a
drop. -More of a plop on my cheek. Immediately I smelled the fishy crap and
tried wiping it off. My mom assured me it was nothing, probably my imagination.
I then looked down at the burger depressed because the overwhelming smell of
the fishy stench that had fallen on my face had completely killed my appetite.
It was then that I noticed a blob of white on the burger.
“Mom, you sure you didn’t put mayo on this?” I hoped that
she did.
“No why?” she said.
I then turned the poo burger towards her and rushed to the
bathroom to wipe scrub burn it off my face.
Luckily we got a new (free) burger, which we took into the
covered cabana and ate under security of a thatched roof. I hovered over that
burger like the hunchback of Notre dame, to insure no bird could drop anything
on it again, although I’m sure I just freaked the normal people out sitting
near me.
Just remember three things when you go to SeaWorld:
1.
Take Cover
2.
Birds are not your friends
3.
Don’t get the wiener
Thanks For Reading
Photo Cred : http://pilskalns.blogspot.com/2011/04/world-bird-watery-wednesday-pelican_12.html
